I zoomed into her eyes !
An amazing blue wave encapsulating the glowing bright fire flashed into my face, making it all wet. Never before in my life had I shivered in such warmth, never before had I run in my own empty wilderness kicking up every grain of sand under my bare feet. I ran fast, as fast as I could through those cold, parched woods chasing the bright glowing fire before the wave could extinguish its heat. Inside my ribs my heart was contracting, asking me to wait, to admire the beauty of the wave as it rose high against the fire and sparkling crystal droplets separated from its circumference. My tired feet voiced for my heart but I insisted otherwise. Gathering my last wits I spread out my hands to save the light. The ice on my fingernails started melting and as I moved closer there was a click and a lightning flash.
"Fine this time?", she interrogated "Or did I close my eyes yet again."
"As a matter of fact", said I "You did!"
"Holy Crap! Ok, one more‐just one more, please", She was almost on her knees.
"Hey look! If I keep on taking your photographs all day I..I may"
"I may what?"
"I may fall in love with you Damnit!" I knew I had said something wrong.
She paused for a moment to look at my face and then said "But we are already married, honey."
I shivered. The ice was still warm.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Viva la vida
Its only three days into the semester and three guys already got fined for something that was considered ragging and which in other circumstances could have easily been nothing more than a....mmm....lets say a talk! Embarrassing as it may have been for those fined, what would the "ragged" guy in question be going through? Already confused, only three days into IIT and he thinks he has made the whole senior fraternity an adversary losing his own freedom to feel being a part of the system. Freedom has an ambiguous persona. Its always out there busy playing Peek-a-Boo with all those who seek it.
The act of freedom comes with so many clauses. Thats why its so easy to to play with and find a loophole in one`s freedom scheme. Just plant 15 bombs in a city and you can alter the freedom of a million people for a day or two. Take away their freedom to think that they are safe or...sane! Ya! this has been tried and tested! The only thing is that whosoever tried to generate any profit out of these loopholes of freedom forgot one important ability of man. MAN FORGETS ! Like numerous last times people in Ahmedabad and Bangalore will forget this in a few days while the "ragged" guy at IIT would be busy sharing a smoke or a bottle of beer with the same seniors. The dynamicism of freedom will defeat itself again.
The only instruction that God gave man before sending him to earth was "Viva La Vida" ie Live the Life. So as long as man lives his life he will continue to forget and will remain free.
The act of freedom comes with so many clauses. Thats why its so easy to to play with and find a loophole in one`s freedom scheme. Just plant 15 bombs in a city and you can alter the freedom of a million people for a day or two. Take away their freedom to think that they are safe or...sane! Ya! this has been tried and tested! The only thing is that whosoever tried to generate any profit out of these loopholes of freedom forgot one important ability of man. MAN FORGETS ! Like numerous last times people in Ahmedabad and Bangalore will forget this in a few days while the "ragged" guy at IIT would be busy sharing a smoke or a bottle of beer with the same seniors. The dynamicism of freedom will defeat itself again.
The only instruction that God gave man before sending him to earth was "Viva La Vida" ie Live the Life. So as long as man lives his life he will continue to forget and will remain free.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Eight Seconds....Endsem espl
He must have been the most hated of them all. He must have lived a secluded life in a dark dungeon covered in the filth of human waste. On his tombstone they must have written-"Here lies the despotic descendant of a delirious devil who bred despondence and just before a deserving death came up with the idea of ENDSEM(s)@#$%^&@!!"
An idea can definitely change a life, so we know now. Every 6 months the above mentioned idea changes a lot of lives - okay only for a week, but the fact is that-it does!! Lives transform from basking sleepers to sleepless bastards, from muffled buggers to baffling muggers, from human hard discs to human RAMs.
Still I (as usual) see a flaw in the idea. There are four kinds of people appearing in the endsems. First set of people who study for 8-10 hrs before the exam and pass out peacefully, second, a little more intelligent set who study for the same 8-10 hrs an get a decent grade too, the third, a subset of the second kind who put in a lot of effort, obviously in those 8-10 hrs, but still show no improvement over the last time; the fourth, the last set and the most interesting ones are those who study all sem long an don't even need the 8-10 hrs before the exam to crack it. So the gazillion paisa question is - After all, Endsems for Whom?? and what is it testing....and what purpose is it serving? None of these four people need it....:-?
Jokes apart, I heard that an average young male thinks about sex every Eight seconds. Now during Endsems when one has a hill station of notes and chapters and xeroxes and slides to concentratively mug, hmm... I feel Eight is a really huge number.
Anyway, all the best for end-thems.......
An idea can definitely change a life, so we know now. Every 6 months the above mentioned idea changes a lot of lives - okay only for a week, but the fact is that-it does!! Lives transform from basking sleepers to sleepless bastards, from muffled buggers to baffling muggers, from human hard discs to human RAMs.
Still I (as usual) see a flaw in the idea. There are four kinds of people appearing in the endsems. First set of people who study for 8-10 hrs before the exam and pass out peacefully, second, a little more intelligent set who study for the same 8-10 hrs an get a decent grade too, the third, a subset of the second kind who put in a lot of effort, obviously in those 8-10 hrs, but still show no improvement over the last time; the fourth, the last set and the most interesting ones are those who study all sem long an don't even need the 8-10 hrs before the exam to crack it. So the gazillion paisa question is - After all, Endsems for Whom?? and what is it testing....and what purpose is it serving? None of these four people need it....:-?
Jokes apart, I heard that an average young male thinks about sex every Eight seconds. Now during Endsems when one has a hill station of notes and chapters and xeroxes and slides to concentratively mug, hmm... I feel Eight is a really huge number.
Anyway, all the best for end-thems.......
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Back from the future.....
So is it a time to come back...Have all the things fixed up in the past.....Elections, opinions, friendships, seminars, quizzes, vivas, PT???.......
Oh no! We still have an Endsem....Okk, will get through it as well......So basically untill today it was hard to decide whether or not to come back! to the present!........Well now its not!! All the things and people that I was running after or cared the least about dont have it same for me.......So let it go.....I will be back anyway......The mess that I created..I will have to clean up myself.....There is no help coming in a spaceship(as I expected untill today)........I dont want to remain trapped in this little time lapse for eternity......The freeze has to break now.....lets melt back to the "real" world......I know its not as ideal as I imagined, wished, built it up or needed it to be.........but thik hai......Fine with me now.....People around me here are forgetting things,I cant keep on reminding them.............So its only me now!!....Back to the present.......
P.S. I am not drunk...or senti.....
Oh no! We still have an Endsem....Okk, will get through it as well......So basically untill today it was hard to decide whether or not to come back! to the present!........Well now its not!! All the things and people that I was running after or cared the least about dont have it same for me.......So let it go.....I will be back anyway......The mess that I created..I will have to clean up myself.....There is no help coming in a spaceship(as I expected untill today)........I dont want to remain trapped in this little time lapse for eternity......The freeze has to break now.....lets melt back to the "real" world......I know its not as ideal as I imagined, wished, built it up or needed it to be.........but thik hai......Fine with me now.....People around me here are forgetting things,I cant keep on reminding them.............So its only me now!!....Back to the present.......
P.S. I am not drunk...or senti.....
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Jodhaa Akbar....Its not a movie
I was warned, scoffed, mocked, kicked and laughed at when I expressed my desire to go watch this movie in the theater. They described it as a completely giveup 4 hr colossal torture.........Now that I have watched the movie I know why khalid mohammad should retire...not only from his work but also from his nationality.....
Yes, Jodhaa Akbar is not a movie...its an experience, majestic in its demands, refreshing in its message. Those who are still crying over distorted historical facts-should go back and read history for what it is. We do not read history for knowing what the real name of somebody`s wife was-but instead we read it to understand how 500 years before, in a monarchical era, one man stood up to unify the whole country irrespective of religion, caste, location, sex or ethnicity sacrificing even his own beliefs--as opposed to what we see today, when in a "democratic" setup we come out to kill on the basis of who is north and who is mumbai.....ring a bell !
Jodhaa Akbar is a celebration of the rich culture that India manifested, something we dont even bother about now. It was amazing to watch the Azeem-o-shaan song which looked more like a republic day parade representing every cult that has ever lived in India. In a scene there were 9 different circles of people around Akbar each of different religion, caste or region......how much more amazing could a scene like that have been for an Indian who is proud that such a thing can happen only in India!
The golden yellow royal texture of Akbar`s face, the fear in jodhaa eyes when her mother hands her over the poison, the lust in same when she voyeurs half naked Akbar playing with his "sword", Mahamanga slightestest nod when she meets Jodha, the lush undeniably rich and real interior sets and costumes, the way an emperor of India starts dancing with a group of spiritual sufis, how a modest bhajan lights up the darbar at Deewan-e-aam, how a little Rajput princess makes her mark(literally) on the whole of the majestic Mughal empire and how the ruler of the subcontinent decides to fight hand-to-hand to a warrior stronger to him on paper, just to keep peace and soldiers on both sides alive...........
I know I couldnt have asked for more....sitting with a riveted audience around I never quite came to know how the much talked "4 hr" length came to an end........I came out enlightened perhaps nostalgic of I dont know what but all I wanted was to raise my hands in the air and dance to Khwaja, Akbar, India, Rahman, me and Ashutosh who brought them together.........
Yes, Jodhaa Akbar is not a movie...its an experience, majestic in its demands, refreshing in its message. Those who are still crying over distorted historical facts-should go back and read history for what it is. We do not read history for knowing what the real name of somebody`s wife was-but instead we read it to understand how 500 years before, in a monarchical era, one man stood up to unify the whole country irrespective of religion, caste, location, sex or ethnicity sacrificing even his own beliefs--as opposed to what we see today, when in a "democratic" setup we come out to kill on the basis of who is north and who is mumbai.....ring a bell !
Jodhaa Akbar is a celebration of the rich culture that India manifested, something we dont even bother about now. It was amazing to watch the Azeem-o-shaan song which looked more like a republic day parade representing every cult that has ever lived in India. In a scene there were 9 different circles of people around Akbar each of different religion, caste or region......how much more amazing could a scene like that have been for an Indian who is proud that such a thing can happen only in India!
The golden yellow royal texture of Akbar`s face, the fear in jodhaa eyes when her mother hands her over the poison, the lust in same when she voyeurs half naked Akbar playing with his "sword", Mahamanga slightestest nod when she meets Jodha, the lush undeniably rich and real interior sets and costumes, the way an emperor of India starts dancing with a group of spiritual sufis, how a modest bhajan lights up the darbar at Deewan-e-aam, how a little Rajput princess makes her mark(literally) on the whole of the majestic Mughal empire and how the ruler of the subcontinent decides to fight hand-to-hand to a warrior stronger to him on paper, just to keep peace and soldiers on both sides alive...........
I know I couldnt have asked for more....sitting with a riveted audience around I never quite came to know how the much talked "4 hr" length came to an end........I came out enlightened perhaps nostalgic of I dont know what but all I wanted was to raise my hands in the air and dance to Khwaja, Akbar, India, Rahman, me and Ashutosh who brought them together.........
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
5 phases of ANGER
a IMPULSE
The stimulus that triggers it all. The first phase, that comes to me once a month without fail. It comes a surprise, something I was not expecting or rather wanting to happen. Something that disrupts the normal behavior of an invisible boundary layer around my life. It hits like a gust of sharp wind and shatters all laws of stability......
n EXPLOSION
BOOM! There it goes. An extremely loud and violent discharge of energy where I scream seamlessly at the top of my throat at everyone "I think" is responsible for the Impulse. This explosion, not only leaves everyone choking in the smoke, but it also leaves on them deep scars of distrust and dislike....
g SILENCE
The toughest part ! Its the stillness that follows every Explosion. Nothing moves or makes a sound. Time, suddenly stops and I find myself sitting in a dark and cold place, straining my ears to listen my own heartbeats. There is no one around and the guilt starts setting in, questions start emerging in dark shadows-Was it worth it ? Did I do anything wrong this time ? Wasn't the impulse too trivial to cause everything ? Haven`t I done it before and ended up all alone ? Isn't it going to happen again?
All the answers seem a simple yes except for the first question....
e COMPROMISE
So the Adrenalin heads back to the glands. With my Silenced head miles deep in guilt, I find out things. Things like-After all who is being affected most-me, of course; because its me who was, is and will be dependent on them. Strictly speaking, they don't need me-but still if they show no objection to me hanging around, it must be only out of fondness or pity perhaps. And every time they have their own right to make decisions that don't include me.
Realizing that I am not a part of the thrust, but the drag, I make a compromise-a settlement with my own self.....
r ABATEMENT
Its over! The final nullification. With a Compromised self, I stand up to put on the lights in my head. I then look around and find everything falling back into place. Although abated, a final healing is yet pending. I still need to go back and ask for forgiveness, which I know I will get-because they love me...and so do I...........
The stimulus that triggers it all. The first phase, that comes to me once a month without fail. It comes a surprise, something I was not expecting or rather wanting to happen. Something that disrupts the normal behavior of an invisible boundary layer around my life. It hits like a gust of sharp wind and shatters all laws of stability......
n EXPLOSION
BOOM! There it goes. An extremely loud and violent discharge of energy where I scream seamlessly at the top of my throat at everyone "I think" is responsible for the Impulse. This explosion, not only leaves everyone choking in the smoke, but it also leaves on them deep scars of distrust and dislike....
g SILENCE
The toughest part ! Its the stillness that follows every Explosion. Nothing moves or makes a sound. Time, suddenly stops and I find myself sitting in a dark and cold place, straining my ears to listen my own heartbeats. There is no one around and the guilt starts setting in, questions start emerging in dark shadows-Was it worth it ? Did I do anything wrong this time ? Wasn't the impulse too trivial to cause everything ? Haven`t I done it before and ended up all alone ? Isn't it going to happen again?
All the answers seem a simple yes except for the first question....
e COMPROMISE
So the Adrenalin heads back to the glands. With my Silenced head miles deep in guilt, I find out things. Things like-After all who is being affected most-me, of course; because its me who was, is and will be dependent on them. Strictly speaking, they don't need me-but still if they show no objection to me hanging around, it must be only out of fondness or pity perhaps. And every time they have their own right to make decisions that don't include me.
Realizing that I am not a part of the thrust, but the drag, I make a compromise-a settlement with my own self.....
r ABATEMENT
Its over! The final nullification. With a Compromised self, I stand up to put on the lights in my head. I then look around and find everything falling back into place. Although abated, a final healing is yet pending. I still need to go back and ask for forgiveness, which I know I will get-because they love me...and so do I...........
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Still......
It goes back in time...stays there for a moment and returns to a D chord. What is it..!.....Chinmay knows better. But there is "Still" something that he doesnt know, and I wish he never finds out !
The song he loves so much....has a little more than what meets the ears.....and I just dont want to destroy it for him !
The night I saw you walking through the wind all alone..
It seemed a dream made me forget everything I had ever known..
I wish I pass by you, take your hand, and run away
Into the dream of the night, to the other side of the day...
I just want to say that I still love you
I just want to say that my love is true....
Back in time, this song played in an entirely different setting...amazing as it was....it was also true. So it stays Still........
I just wanna say that my love is true......
The song he loves so much....has a little more than what meets the ears.....and I just dont want to destroy it for him !
The night I saw you walking through the wind all alone..
It seemed a dream made me forget everything I had ever known..
I wish I pass by you, take your hand, and run away
Into the dream of the night, to the other side of the day...
I just want to say that I still love you
I just want to say that my love is true....
Back in time, this song played in an entirely different setting...amazing as it was....it was also true. So it stays Still........
I just wanna say that my love is true......
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